The end to a VERY sad month....

....my granny passed away.

As I was laying in bed on the 24^th, sadness came over me and I couldn’t figure out why. The 24^th was my mom’s birthday and I had talked to her earlier, so it wasn’t that. I laid there thinking and then it hit me like a truck. This January 24^th is the 4 year mark of when my granny went into a coma. She was rushed to the OU Medical Center in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma that night. I remember being 25 weeks pregnant with my daughter at the time and praying that my granny would get better, so she could meet my daughter. All I wanted was her to get better; she just had to meet her great-granddaughter.

We all knew that my granny needed a liver transplant; we just weren’t expecting the blow that would come later that week. For the 7 days that she was at the Medical Center, she was only awake for 1 or 2 days. The rest of those 5-6 days, granny was in a coma. I’ll always cherish those hours we had with her when she was awake. Each day we went to the hospital early each morning, spent all day there, then had to leave at 6:30 p.m. for the nurses shift change.

Everyone was trying to figure out how to get the transplant to happen. We kept getting stuck on the funding part no matter what we tried. It’s funny, my granny was a nurse for years and she took care of so many people getting them what they needed. But when it came to her, no one outside of the family wanted to help her get what she needed. The only thing that kept her from getting a new liver was the money. I remember the doctor telling us that there was a liver waiting on her at another hospital, but they were trying to get the funding part taken care of. But that never happened. Some people just need to care more in my opinion.

I remember the 6^th day we were there, granny was awake and we all got to talk to her. Granny wasn’t talking, but I remember her shaking her head yes and no when we talked to her. I loved that day because granny seemed to be doing so much better. I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up like I did; I knew better but it didn’t matter to me. My granny seemed to doing so much better. As we were leaving at 6:30 that night, I gave granny a hug and kiss. Then I told her that I loved her so much. She looked up at me and said “I love you too”. Those 4 words meant so much to me that night.

On the 7^th day (January 31, 2006) granny was back in a coma and they started calling in the family. Things were a lot worse that day and all my hopes were gone. They day was spent staying there with granny with leaving as little as we could. Later that night, when it was time for shift change, we didn’t have to leave. We were allowed to stay because they didn’t expect her to make it through the night.

When the end came, I remember my pawpaw standing at her side holding her hand the entire time; he never let go, not once. Watching him hold her hand, I remember thinking “what is he going to do without granny?” As I sat there I remember watching the monitors. Blood pressure, heart rate, and her breaths kept dropping. The time between each breath grew longer and longer till the last breath. Then her heart stopped. My granny was gone. They called the preacher in and I went to the bathroom. I couldn’t stay in there any longer, I was there for my granny and that was the most important thing.

I love my little girl to pieces and she looks so much like my granny at times. After she passed I promised that Kynzi would grow up knowing who her great-grandma was and what she was like when she was alive, just like I’ll do with my great-granny and my papa Jack (they passed away in January 2006 also).

4 years ago today my granny passed and I love her more and more. I enjoy the memories that I have of her and I hope that when she looks down on me that she is proud of me. I still wish she could have met Kynzi, but that just makes my job that much more important as a mom. I get to share my memories of her with my daughter. I get the chance to do the things with Kynzi that my granny did with me.

Kynzi is my little miracle. When I was 21 weeks pregnant, my great-granny passed away. Then, when I was 22 weeks my papa Jack passed away. And finally when I was 25 weeks, my granny passed away. We were amazed that I didn’t go into labor then. I ended up going in to labor at 34 weeks the first time. There was definitely a lot to be thankful for while there was so much sadness in 2006.

Here are some pictures of my granny. A few will have Kynzi’s picture beside it for a look-a-like comparison. Enjoy!

We love and miss you so much granny!!!!!